Highly functioning addiction is hidden epidemic in our society today. When people have a solid income, social influence and the right tricks for hiding addiction, a person may struggle for years with addiction and no one around them may even realize it was a problem.
Addiction is also one of the most common factors involved in break-ups, divorces and hardships in relationships. Addictive behaviors can go unseen and undetected for months even years and it doesn’t happen overnight, it creeps up slowly. Most addictions begin with recreational use of drug or alcohol and with time a reliance on the drug is developed. It’s important to note that in the field of psychology we consider process addictions as just as valid as substance addictions. Process addictions include porn addiction, gambling, food addiction and behavioral addictions. Most people struggling with addiction are not addicted to one thing but many. There are a multitude of reasons addiction happens and it is not a choice or anything to do with will power. That is old, old thinking not backed by the scientific research we now have.
First off, drugs and alcohol and process addictions change the functioning of the brain, particularly the dopamine system or pleasure center. Drugs and alcohol alter this part of the brain’s operation and it becomes incredibly difficult to stop taking a drug or drinking. Second, many people are using, drinking or acting out to numb pain, fear, sadness and deep-rooted trauma that they have experienced. Numbing is a coping behavior that is learned usually as a child to escape unstable, traumatic or unsafe situations. Numbing is one of many coping skills that a person develops in order to survive chaos, this is what kept a child alive, however we want to realize that this coping is no longer working. Also, many people who are struggling with addiction may be battling mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. Most people struggling with addiction do not want to be addicted, but they are fighting a battle against their brain’s biology, past trauma and other mental health issues.
Without knowledge on what addiction can look like it can be hard to detect what is going on. Many times, a partner can’t figure out why their partner has changed. A once stable relationship is now falling apart and feeling unfamiliar. A once stable person is now a roller-coaster of emotions, acting out in strange ways and not “being themselves.” It can be shocking, confusing, and heart breaking.
If you believe that something is off in your relationships and you have been unable to figure it out, take a look at this list of signs.
Physical Signs of Addiction
Weight loss or gain and clothing no longer fitting correctly
Change in eating (frequently eating less)
Physical appearance is pale, maybe malnourished
High energy or low energy swings in activity (depending on the drug)
Cyclic speech patterns (tangential thinking that is hard to follow or repetition of thoughts)
Red eyes, dilated eyes
Increased runny nose or sniffing or sinus drainage when an illness was not present
Issues dealing with body odor due to personal hygiene issues
Sleep related issues such as insomnia or disrupted sleep, could also be over sleeping and missing work
Trembling hands (usually related to withdrawal periods)
Physical withdrawal symptoms
Behavioral Signs of Addiction
· Relationship or partner issues (Communication problems, blaming the partner, secretive behaviors, having affairs, contempt or disgust for partners, ignoring/isolating from family or partner)
· Work or school problems (unable to get work done, delegate, or finish projects, having to take work home, relational issues with boss or co-workers, tension at work,
· Missing work/school (being late, unable to get up in the morning, leaving early)
· Missing important events (dates, family gatherings, children’s events, business events)
· Isolating/secretive behaviors (this can be lying about whereabouts, avoiding time with partner or family, acting strange about where he/she is going)
· Hiding behaviors and actions (hiding computer screens, hiding texts, hiding drugs or alcohol, hiding activities)
· Having affairs (emotional and physical)
· Legal problems ( DUIs, disorderly conduct)
· Financial problems ( borrowing money, never having money, unable to pay bills)
· Obsession on drug/alcohol/process addiction related topics ( talking about scoring a hit, or minimizing use as normal, talking about how the drug should be legalized, obsessed with discussions on sex or gambling etc)
· Cravings or obsessions
· Unable to stop using regardless of dire consequences such as losing partner, job, house, health consequences)
· Increase in use, or increase in tolerance meaning needing more substance to get high. This is the dangerous escalation that happens.
Emotional Signs of Addiction
· Problems dealing with stress (emotional instability, anger, blaming others, leaving work early)
· Irritability, argumentative, short-tempered, unpredictable moods
· Strange mood swings that are out of proportion and erratic.
· Showing signs of depression
· Defensiveness (especially when questioning secretive behaviors)
· Seeking out emotional affairs with others (emotional affairs are legit and are the same as physical affairs, do not discount them)
· No longer interested in activities that used to be important
· No longer hanging out with old friends, often hanging out with new friends who are also struggling with addiction
· Defensiveness
· Changing the subject or avoiding discussions
· Minimization (denying or playing down the seriousness of the addiction, being unwilling to acknowledge full scope of the behavior or consequences).
· Denial (often telling the accuser they did not see what they say, getting angry that someone caught them and calling them a liar).
· Rationalizing (having excuses, explanations, justifications, alibis or reasons to explain behaviors).
· Blaming (Blaming others for behaviors or feelings and blaming partners for unhappiness)
Comments